It’s not every day that you see a stranger in the mirror..it’s not often that person in the mirror seems to be full of questions....u know the questions but not the answers...or at least u pretend not to know them.......it’s rare that person in the mirror stares at u as if ur a criminal...and you though not guilty still feel offended, helpless by his stares...and still u don’t have words to tell him the truth....or perhaps u know don’t know the truth urself....it’s that one strange glare that kills you....
so what is it? Where am I going? is this because my altitude and latitude has changed or it’s just a mere coincidence...is it because change in angle of sun rays that has changed the projection.....or it’s just my perception that has changed....or is it just that I am awake after ages and see a completely different world....a world where my logic and sense no longer works....neither does my brain......oh may be its just a case of blocked veins in brain....but then how can I think of all these possibilities......no but if the brain worked then how come I don’t know answers when I was always full of them........so does this mean that questions have changed but wait the person in the mirror is still the same....and he still looks fairly similar to me.....so why is this change........or there is no change and I still feel that there is a change.....and if I do then why do I think so......and am I really thinking or just playing around with myself....if not with myself then may be with person in the mirror....but why am I thinking about some person in the mirror.....there can always be only one person like me.....so why am I feeling bad when he can’t understand me.......or is it because he understands me and that’s why he is staring.....but if he understands me then he must know that I don’t know if there is a change....or maybe he wants me to understand the change......and if he doesn’t understand me...then why doesn’t he understand me...when he did it for good parts of 24 years......
so does this mean there is a change in my life....and if yes then is it just the physical environment or there is a mental adjustment.....or is it just an inertia to change......but if it is inertia then why is it taking so long to change....may be I am not applying the force that is required to travel with a constant speed.....but what is constant.....isn’t it all relative by somebody's law.....or is it an exception to the law....if its physical environment change then when was I so attached to it that its changing my views......and if its mental adjustment then why do I still smile and cry the same way I used to......or it just applies to something between these two.......do we call this confusion state or there's no name to it...coz nobody has still been able to put it in words....but why do I need to put it in words.....isn’t it the same thing that he must be feeling too...
where did I start and where am I heading....is there a start and an end.....or it’s also a journey......or its part of bigger journey....may be both...or their combination.....is it something called 20's uncertainty.....or is it something called loneliness that’s gripping me....but why am I feeling uncertain..lonely....who's always been there for me.....parents and some caring hearts called friends.....but they r still with me then why's this happening to me......is it all about being together physically....then when was the last time I was always with any one of them........or is it time to turn the leaf......or may be start of new chapter or a new story.......
if it is...then why is he staring at me.....doesn't he know that anything that starts has to end.....so that a new thing can start.....so am I ready for a new start....but wait if changes r symbols of start..then I have already......oh no....but if I had then I won’t be writing this.......but u know when I am writing this he is still staring at me.....maybe he knows no matter how much I write I still won’t know why he is staring at me....giving me that mysterious smile.......then why am I writing.......it’s better to go off to sleep and see some better faces in dreams than see a stranger in a mirror screwing the holy hell out of me.........
(Guys it’s a raw write-up …..I haven’t even thought of going back and reading it once more after writing this…so bare with my English , typo’s, grammar and spellings….)
